Posted by: michelle @ books my kids read | January 22, 2009

no regrets….right?

I realized that I was in love with the world of magazines when I was in Intro to Mass Communications and as I continued to move through my major I managed to do every project somehow connected to the world of magazines. I did a summer internship at Rolling Stone and it snowballed from there. It took a lot of trial and error before I found production, but there was always something that drew me to the magazine world.

Have I thought about other things? Of course I have. I’ve considered going back to school, heck I did go back to school before moving to Kansas, but that sort of doesn’t count since it was to get a masters in magazine publishing (and yes, that exists). Over the years, like most people, I have questioned my career path and tried to figure something else out, but nothing truly jumps at me. For a period, I was completely infatuated with old kitchens and considered writing a book about the history of kitchens – I mean serious kitchens and food storage, we had been visiting old mansions in Newport, the Biltmore in Asheville and Monticello. I’ve pondered getting a library science degree since I love books and research so much and I’m pretty into organizing (as long as it isn’t my room).

Then I settled into a routine. I like magazines. The lifestyle is relatively comfortable in terms of working hours and stress levels and once I got pregnant, that was supposed to be my big job. And while I don’t have regrets, I do ponder every once in a while if this is truly what I’m supposed to be doing and I’m slightly jealous of old friends who seem to have done “more” with their lives. It’s important not to judge yourself by those around you, and yet that is truly easier said than done.

In the last few months I’ve gotten addicted to Facebook. In a strange way I’m catching up with old friends and acquaintances. But I’m also taking a strange view into people’s lives who I haven’t seen since high school. I see what some of them have done and I’m jealous. Where did all of this deep thought come from? A friend from back in the day is now living in NYC, is the managing editor of an online foodie magazine (it’s really neat – The Kitchn). She has a little girl just slightly older than the munchkin. In her latest enewsletter edition her post mentions her time in culinary school. Damn! I would have loved to have gone to culinary school. I wouldn’t want to be a professional chef, but somehow working in the food industry, like a food magazine, would be really damn cool. There is also the side of me that really wants to be doing more with my knitting and crotchet. Truly delving into the world of fibers and techniques. But where is the time?

I don’t know. Maybe moving away from here and having a bit more flexibility in my work schedule will help. I have to have some kind of job and income coming in. I can’t see myself as the stay at home mom and all of the stuff that I want to try and experience I can’t do while taking care of the little one full time. There is something more…..right?


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