Posted by: michelle @ books my kids read | May 26, 2009

on marriage

I don’t understand why California is upholding Prop 8. I keep having conversations with people about marriage and what it means – straight and gay. And yet, today the California Supreme Court upheld the ban on same-sex marriage. I appreciate that they are allowing the 18,000 couples who were married before the ban went into place to stay married, but I don’t understand why the population was allowed to vote on this in the first place.  A friend put the following status on facebook “is unimpressed, if depressingly unsurprised. Paper beats rock, fear beats hope.”

That’s the thing that gets me. This is so much about fear. Fear that anyone else’s way of life will impinge on your own. I understand that there are religious beliefs against gay marriage. I personally think they are wrong, but I respect that people can have their own beliefs. However, I don’t understand how that makes it okay to stop a group of people from living with the same body of rights that you get. This is an incredibly touchy subject, I understand that, but it just angers me so much. Back in the day, African Americans didn’t have rights.  But can you imagine what it would have been like if white America got to vote on whether or not they should have equal rights? They never would have gotten them. Some people don’t agree with inter-racial or inter-religious marriages. But there is no law stopping them from taking place.

Marriage is an amazing thing. Something not to be entered into lightly, but also something not to be brushed aside as lightly as most Americans seem to have these days. Marriage exists because it is a way to tell someone that you will be together forever, to have and to hold, to protect, to love, to cherish and be cherished – I don’t agree with the way people divorce so lightly. Marriage is a way to create a lasting family, both nuclear and the wider family that gets created when two people come together, to create a wider village. It is also a legal security blanket. It protects you and your loved ones should you get sick. It gives the person most important to you the ability to make decisions in emergencies. And in the worst case scenario, it protects you should your loved one leave you. Heck, it protects them should you decide it’s over.

I’ve recently had conversations with friends about marriage and the choice to marry or not.  There are a lot of straight people out there who don’t believe in marriage anymore. I don’t understand that either. And what happens when one person in the couple doesn’t believe in marriage but the other one does?

We, the undersigned, are united in our refusal to accept a California where discrimination is enshrined in our state’s constitution.

We pledge to repeal Prop 8 and restore marriage equality to California.

You can sign this pledge at



  1. another friend’s facebook status – “Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?” ~Ernest Gaines

  2. and yet another….”calling the word marriage essentially symbolic is like telling black people that sitting in the back of the bus was not important as long as the front and back of the bus arrive at the same time”

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