Posted by: michelle @ books my kids read | August 12, 2009

daycare drama

So this was the munchkin’s first week at her new “school.” She had 6 weeks of uninterrupted mommy time and now that I’ve gone back to work, it was time for her to go back to daycare. Finding care here was harder than I expected since most of the moms just don’t work and nursery schools don’t start until age 3 or 4 – 3 by August I might add, so she won’t be in nursery school until next fall. Anyway, I did find a good program that I am happy with and we started on Monday. Unfortunately, the munchkin wasn’t so happy with it. I planned to only have her there a few hours on Monday and when I went to pick her up, found that she had pretty much been crying the whole time – I should note that she wasn’t crying when I left the room, but apparently didn’t realize I had left and as soon as she did, she started crying. I dropped her off on Tuesday, stayed in the room for half an hour with her, and she clung to me like a wounded animal. I finally had to give her to one of her teachers and leave since I was starting to cry. There was no way I was going to leave here there through nap-time so I planned to come back in 2 1/2 hours and get her. I walked out of the program quite upset myself and cried a good deal of the drive home, and then some. I felt like I was the worst mom ever. When I called to check in half way through the morning, she wasn’t crying and was sitting with one of the other little girls and when I picked her up, she was sitting quietly while the other kids were drifting off to their naps. This morning, I brought her in and she clung to me but I saw a Dora book and the two of us sat down to read it. I wound up reading it about 3 times, much to the other children’s enjoyment, and when I told her that I was leaving, she continued to read her book. As I was walking out the door, she was getting up to go look at something else. Fingers crossed, today she would hopefully be able to stay through her nap. When I called to check in around lunch time, I was told that everything seemed to be fine and that they knew she was napping. When I went to pick her up, she was happy as a clam playing with puzzles. Today had been a much better day. Phew.

Everyone always says that happy mommy means happy baby. But when your baby’s anguish causes you to torture yourself is anyone happy? As I’ve said before, I often wish that I was one of those moms who could stay at home, but I hate to say this, I get bored. Work is so much a part of who I am, its very hard for me to have such limited adult conversation. I’ve met some very nice women here, but you have to be a different kind of social butterfly to enjoy constant playgroups and play dates. What I have to keep repeating to myself is that it doesn’t make me a bad mommy to not want to do these things, it just makes me different. In big cities there are all kinds of parents and you can find your niche and other parents like you. In small town America, that’s less the case. I am an anomaly here. I just have to do what works for me.

Since I don’t bounce from playgroup to playgroup, meeting people will be something of a struggle, but I’m doing other things that should help us. We start KinderMusik at the end of the month and it turns out another mom I get along with is taking the same class. Gymnastics starts next Tuesday. And even though I’m working, we’re still going to some playgroups – this Friday is an all age playgroup at the Marina, so that should be fun.

I have to learn not to beat myself up. I try to remain positive, and often I am, but the grass is always greener on the other side and it’s hard to see your child in pain. We’re taking it one day at a time and just trying to have a good time.

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Responses

  1. Now I understand why she cried so much the first day! I didn’t realize that she didn’t see you leave. The first day it’s especially important to say goodbye and that you’ll be back. Now it all makes more sense about why she cried the whole time. Being a mom is learning something all the time!


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